I Disobey on This Day

‘I Disobey On This Day’

Darkness I feel wants to take me for a walk

Sitting quietly next to my master depression

I obey on this day!

The leash is attached to what feels like a noose around my neck

These are the days I feel most empty and lost

If only I could find that bone I buried deep down inside

I jump to my feet as my kids open the door

Forgetting the choke chain that feels like a nose

Running to them with joy like the smell of a treat

Stopped in my tracks a sudden blockage of breath

My master controls me with a forceful tug

I obey on this day!

As I walk to the park my heightened senses alert

I see others being held by the same leash

My instincts lead to a bark, and a bark, and a bark

I speak my voice that only we can decipher

Don’t forget about your hidden bone I bark without words

I want to be with them as we are all from the same litter

A blow to my side from my master’s foot

Throws me to the ground as I roll into the gutter

I obey on this day

I pick myself up dropping my head in despair

My tail stands still with nothing to gain

This walk with depression not easily tamed

I obey on this day

A familiar smell my nose happens to catch

The kids at the park left me a scent trail to find

Smile on their faces as they play in the park

I need to be with them to bury the dark

The pain I have been feeling has me tight in its grasp

I decide to distract as I lift my tail to shit

All the pressure inside me falls to the ground

As depression bends over to pick up my pain

My instincts kick in and I push with all fours

I disobey on this day

The sudden strangle around my neck as I hit the end of the line

Worth its weight in gold as the leash drops to the ground

For a moment in time and my free will to choose my path

I now feel free and run like the gate was finally left open

I disobey on this day and live like someone left the gate open

I reach my kids in the park panting with joy

Surprised that I didn’t reach the end of my line

For I have tried this escape many times only to end up on my head

Depression gets angry if joy my nose finds

I smell joy and the need to pursue goes deep like the bones I bury

Today joy is found in a park made for play

Kids are all smiles as I jump from the ground to place my paws on their chests

My senses are tingling as I feel there heartbeats in rhythm with mine

They fall to the ground as our hearts sing a song

The taste of sweet memories as I lick both their cheeks

Laughs and giggles as we roll on the ground

Carry this moment like a bone and bury it in my heart

I roll over and sit as they rise from the earth

Picking up my leash I feel their prise possession

Rise to my feet with tail wagging fast

Begin heading home with kids in toe

Me proudly in the lead with my new owners kipping behind

When Joy is our master we must cherish in time

Trail was once dark is now shining with light

Leash that once chocked me is now breathing new life

Reaching our home as its much more than a house

Walk over to the tree that stands strong on its roots

Lift my leg to pee on its trunk

Staking my territory to keep out the dark

Marking this joy I feel deep in my heart

Enter our home and get snuggled up on the couch

Blankets wrapping family in one dozing off to sleep

I awake from the nightmare that turns to a dream

From the following words tattooed into my ear

Dogs never judge me I am starting to find

When I mimic their actions it eases my mind

The fences and leashes that so often confine the thoughts

Have gates and weak points that open straight to the heart

Spinning around and chasing my tail

Or digging myself a new hole

Stuck in a spiral that goes one of two ways

Bury myself or bite off my tail

I come to my senses and stop in my tracks

Look up to see the world holding treats in its hands

Look down with a glance my senses alert from a sparkle of white

My bone shining bright is pure joy to my sight

Kent Bonertz

Wendi-0600

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