Written Word

My Poetry Pieces in Written Word, hope you enjoy!

 

‘One Last Talk’

So many once upon a time’s

Looking for happily ever after’s

Stories aren’t for just putting kids to sleep

They’re for waking adults up

Outside appearances can hold so many lies

Inner longings don’t tell the truth

The tide will one day drop

Leaving us all standing naked

We pretend that our rooms are clean

Failures swept under the bed

Fears stuffed in the closet

Rest of our shit stacked in piles behind the door

Lowering your high expectations

Makes life so much easier to succeed

Simply seeing things in an opposite kind of way

Question your asks rather then ask your questions

100,000 times per day a heart beats to keep a soul alive

72 times per minute sending 1.3 gallons through 60,000 miles of veins

That’s 38 million beats pumping 700,000 gallons per year

By a 10oz pump that on its last beat wants yes answered to life’s final question

3am wake up calls by regrets, anxieties, fears and loneliness

Ghosts of depression we don’t want to believe we see

Dr. Mind diagnoses the heart as crazy

Straight jacket and solitary confinement its prescription

Anonymous feedback reviews by societies opposite twins

Those that love you more then reasonable

Or the ones spreading toxic filth onto the path you have chosen

As middle class performs a vanishing act

What are the average 7000 words I speak daily really trying to say?

That can’t be said more clearly in a thousand words or less

When my true voice only holds the rights to 600 of them

Trademarks of my life under copyright protection

3 full pop cans of blood feeds our brain each minute

Oxygen the nutrient to power our average 50,000 thoughts per day

A 15 pack of beer cans, blood light used to quench the thirst of the rest of us that feels

Supplying 20% for thoughts and 80% for feelings, a heart attack of truth

We sit in time machines constantly waiting to take off

Having checked 3 bags of luggage packed full with our past

Small carryon packed tightly with the essential dreams that we can’t afford to lose

Flight has been delayed again as we wait for a passenger named ‘Present Moment’

Present Moment with zero baggage is stuck in customs getting strip-searched

The body scan confirms suspicion without a shadow of a doubt

Head thinks, heart feels, soul lives and spirit flies.

Security breach, we are at our best when we don’t fit in

Tidy up your room and carry your dirty laundry out with a bag over your shoulder

The washboard of vulnerability is waiting to do its work

Let your soul be cleaned by the scrubbing of your wounds

Hands of others the clothespins on the line where our spirits left hung to dry

Open the drawers and take out your fresh-stacked dreams

Grab all the hope, joy, love and compassion hanging from all the hangers in your closet

Put them on and rip the door to your heart off its hinges

Open the window and speak your fresh air of truth

Speak the 600 authentic words you hold dear to your heart

One last talk to lift other souls from the dead

You step onto the stage wrapped in courage with a death look staring fear in the eye

A spotlight blinding your fear and shining light on the words that step out of your mouth

The power of your voice answering life’s final question

The question behind all of the questions is this

‘Did you become yourself’?

YES

and they all lived happily ever after.

– Kent Bonertz

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‘I Disobey On This Day’

Darkness I feel wants to take me for a walk

Sitting quietly next to my master depression

I obey on this day!

The leash is attached to what feels like a noose around my neck

These are the days I feel most empty and lost

If only I could find that bone I buried deep down inside

I jump to my feet as my kids open the door

Forgetting the choke chain that feels like a nose

Running to them with joy like the smell of a treat

Stopped in my tracks a sudden blockage of breath

My master controls me with a forceful tug

I obey on this day!

As I walk to the park my heightened senses alert

I see others being held by the same leash

My instincts lead to a bark, and a bark, and a bark

I speak my voice that only we can decipher

Don’t forget about your hidden bone I bark without words

I want to be with them as we are all from the same litter

A blow to my side from my master’s foot

Throws me to the ground as I roll into the gutter

I obey on this day

I pick myself up dropping my head in despair

My tail stands still with nothing to gain

This walk with depression not easily tamed

I obey on this day

A familiar smell my nose happens to catch

The kids at the park left me a scent trail to find

Smile on their faces as they play in the park

I need to be with them to bury the dark

The pain I have been feeling has me tight in its grasp

I decide to distract as I lift my tail to shit

All the pressure inside me falls to the ground

As depression bends over to pick up my pain

My instincts kick in and I push with all fours

I disobey on this day

The sudden strangle around my neck as I hit the end of the line

Worth its weight in gold as the leash drops to the ground

For a moment in time and my free will to choose my path

I now feel free and run like the gate was finally left open

I disobey on this day and live like someone left the gate open

I reach my kids in the park panting with joy

Surprised that I didn’t reach the end of my line

For I have tried this escape many times only to end up on my head

Depression gets angry if joy my nose finds

I smell joy and the need to pursue goes deep like the bones I bury

Today joy is found in a park made for play

Kids are all smiles as I jump from the ground to place my paws on their chests

My senses are tingling as I feel their heartbeats in rhythm with mine

They fall to the ground as our hearts sing a song

The taste of sweet memories as I lick both their cheeks

Laughs and giggles as we roll on the ground

Carry this moment like a bone and bury it in my heart

I roll over and sit as they rise from the earth

Picking up my leash I feel their prize possession

Rise to my feet with tail wagging fast

Begin heading home with kids in toe

Me proudly in the lead with my new owners kipping behind

When Joy is our master we must cherish in time

Trail was once dark is now shining with light

Leash that once chocked me is now breathing new life

Reaching our home as its much more than a house

Walk over to the tree that stands strong on its roots

Lift my leg to pee on its trunk

Staking my territory to keep out the dark

Marking this joy I feel deep in my heart

Enter our home and get snuggled up on the couch

Blankets wrapping family in one dozing off to sleep

I awake from the nightmare that turns to a dream

From the following words tattooed into my ear

Dogs never judge me I am starting to find

When I mimic their actions it eases my mind

The fences and leashes that so often confine the thoughts

Have gates and weak points that open straight to the heart

Spinning around and chasing my tail

Or digging myself a new hole

Stuck in a spiral that goes one of two ways

Bury myself or bite off my tail

I come to my senses and stop in my tracks

Look up to see the world holding treats in its hands

Look down with a glance my senses alert from a sparkle of white

My bone shining bright is pure joy to my sight

– Kent Bonertz

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‘Long Distance Love‘

One day we will have it all

This time apart tick, tick, tick will finally tock and be forgotten

I miss you more than I thought I ever could

Be home in a matter of days by the time you get this letter

It’s like I can feel your pain when we talk on the phone

Can’t turn my feelings off for you if I tried

Wouldn’t hurt this much being apart

If I didn’t love you so much with this heart

Can’t wait until I can reach for you every night

Curl my body into yours

You don’t even know all the things you do

When I close my eyes I can feel your arms around me

Hard to have everything for a short time

Then nothing for along time

So nice to hear your voice at the other end of the line

But so hard at the same time

I know this is only temporary

That we will have forever and more together

I love leaving a trail of kisses on your body

All I can breath is your life

My heart is missing the sound of yours

What if something goes wrong with it?

And I’m not there to hear it skip a beat

Wish I could make the hurt go away

This heart of mine belongs to you

For once this truth doesn’t scare me

Because I know you will take good care of it

Threesome we have with long distance has helped clarify my feelings

Don’t want to push you into commitment your not committed too

By clinging to you fueled from thinking how I never want to lose you

Never been so not in control of my feelings

Sometimes I worry that I’m not always the person you need

I learn a lot about you

The kind of person I want to be

Some people never find the kind of love we share

You’re all I could have dreamed of and more

Get scared sometimes about how intense my feelings are for you

When I feel insecure and don’t talk about it

I push you away so I won’t get hurt

But if you start doubting it will get unbearable

All I do is go to school, think about you

Come home from school and think about you

Eat and think about you

Go to bed and dream about you

I wish I never sent that last letter

Because it’s hard to take things back

Can’t get over this unless I know the whole story

You owe me at least that!

I’m just hurt, confused and scared of loosing you

Hate the fact that she can call you and I can’t

Wish I could see you for an hour

Curl up together and forget all about this

The hurt won’t go away

I’ve never felt so jealous in my whole life

Need to be home with you so all my insecurities melt away?

Can’t tell you to drop dead and go to hell

I want her to stay away

Disappear so everything will be like it was

But I know it can’t just vanish

I really dislike her and am feeling very protective

Don’t leave me alone cause I still really love you

Feeling so hopeless knowing I should be home

Our love is not easily replaced or forgotten

I guess I now know what its like to get hurt

But as hurt, shocked and upset I am

I’m grown up enough to deal with my problems

Not take the easy way out and shut off my feelings

We can’t push our relationship any further

No more hurting each other this bad

Normally I would be gone before I got hurt

But running away is no longer and option when I’m this much in love

We have both needed to grow up

Figure out what we want out of life

So that when we finally do get to be together

Things will fall into place

Our relationship has been pushed just far enough

That it will be stronger in the end

Please don’t worry about loosing me

I won’t stay away forever I promise

It’s funny to look back over the last few years

Wondering how it all managed to work out

How we just kept getting drawn back to each other

You are all I’ve ever dreamed about and more

I’m looking forward to a lifetime of love

Knowing each moment together is so precious

The distance we had has brought us closer

I hope our love lasts happily forever after.

– Kent Bonertz 

 

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‘YOU over Your Other Selves’

Milky way is shining bright in our midnight lives

A star meant for each individual soul to grasp

But everyone seems to be lactose intolerant these days

So they are afraid to hold their own unique true north star

Each soul at birth begins a life sentence

Unless you have an awareness of death

Life can truly never be lived

So receiving the gift of life means accepting the inevitability of death

In our dark rooms developing negatives of ourselves

Our elephants on the table are blocking the writing on the wall

So out of touch I can feel you

It’s not the world that needs saving it’s YOU

Our egos are addicted to selfies

Trading the possibility of a life of purpose and meaning

For our chance at the infamous 15 minutes of fame

Don’t forget the divine errand each soul agreed to undertake

Your greatest truth can never be spoken

If it is spoken then it’s rarely understood

As people simply hear only the truth they can grasp

If looking for certainty then you must get confused

What is the price we pay for the image were trying to portray?

Everybody seems to have a right but nobody has a responsibility

When we point our figure at someone else

Notice there are 3 pointing straight back at us!

Our judgments become a permanent ticker tape

Playing at the bottom of our own unique movie screen called life

Eyes the projectors writing the script we hope becomes a best seller

Blockbuster – biologically we are 98.3% the same as the chimpanzees

Our desire for attention outweighs most important truth

Truth is we all simply desire to be loved on our journey of becoming who we are meant to be

You can fail at what you don’t want

Just as easily as you can going for what you do want

Need for acceptance can make the true you invisible to the world

Social media has given everyone the opportunity to be noticed

Yet effect you have helping other beings is most valuable currency you have

Put that in your data bank and process it!

Coincidence that is more than coincidental

The accident that isn’t fully accidental

It’s in the confusion that we are sure to find certainty

Shortest way home is often the longest way around

White out the fears, anxieties, failures and negative emotions you hold of yourself

Change the working title of ‘I’ll never be enough’

Master the art of truly living by living truly

As the story we tell creates the life we live

We are beautifully designed Russian nesting dolls

Our inner soul child holding the one shooting star we each came to share

Inside all of our other selves

Is the mini-me named YOU waiting to truly be seen?

Risk being seen in all your glory

Step away from behind your own shadow

So the world can feel a glimpse of your brilliance

Think your escaping only to run into yourself

Its literally hidden in plain sight

Passion over Possession

Love over Lust

Friendship over Facebook

Touch over Twitter

Fiction over Fact

Connected over Linked In

Meaning over Money

Give over Get

You owe You one

You owe You one

– Kent Bonertz

DE – PRESS- I –ON

The pressure has gotten to be too much to hold

Big dark black secret of my life but this pain I feel is real

Truth is I’ve been telling everyone white lies

If I need to compare my life to others then I am sick

DE – PRESS – I – ON

 

Walking the never ending shoreline that’s taking me in circles

This island I’ve found myself ship wrecked on

Looking for a shiny washed up bottle that holds the meaning I seek

Isolated as I fear venturing out in my shark infested water

 

How do I cope with my responsibilities when I feel lost in myself?

Lost in my fog yet found in the moments that I feel alive

Where is the map to help me navigate the parts of me that hurt?

Don’t expect people to understand because on outside I try to appear just fine

 

Answer seems just a phone call away in this constant ringing head

But when I pick up the receiver I can’t hear a dial tone

Leaving me hoping for a cold call that finally rings true

Dial 911 and rescue my heart before it straight lines

 

My winter blues have created a whiteout that wasn’t in my forecast

Feeling snow blind so at moment can’t see my way through

It’s my stormy days that keep my true self all wrapped up inside me

Busses aren’t running today leaving me unable to reach out to my friends

DE – PRESS – I – ON

Please stop devaluing my own currency as I ride your bearish back

My markets closed so mind has decided to foreclose on my heart

Feeling bankrupt with no key to my safety deposit box

 

How has my life come to this crossroad?

All my believed X’s have marked the spot I now stand

Pick all them up as the cross I have created needs bearing

Trust that the pain I carry leads to the treasure I seek

 

This quick sand I’m in has bottomed out

Leaving my head just above the surface life I’m living

With my wife and kids to hold onto I feel safe here for a while

Has my rock just met bottom or will I sink deeper into my shit

 

I feel like my mind acting as warden holds me in my own prison

Solitary confinement I’m often sentenced to the infamous hole

This too familiar hole that is dark, cold, daunting and isolated

Luckily my heart continues to feed me in small amounts through the sliding trap door

 

Walking around feeling like a community notice pin up board

Can’t people see from reading me that I’m silently asking for help?

Messages pinned on the crowded tack board of my shadowed self

 

‘Lost – Have YOU seen ME’

‘Help Wanted – Apply Within’

‘Willing to Trade – YOU for ME’

‘Support Group – Looking for people who want to have real conversations’

 

Time is running out as my life is postdated

 

Like a fire that has lost its light to the embers

Receding into the hot coals that now make up the heat

If I walk on them will I get burnt again?

Just searching for the fresh air of truth to ignite my life again

 

I feel like a Persian rug that’s being used as a doormat

As depression rubs its filthy feet every time it visits covering me with pain

Please move me to that old quarter sawn oak floor where the sun shines bright

Admire each stich that makes up the beauty you see in me

 

My story lies with each intricate stich of me

Thousands of little stories in every square inch

Lie on me and feel my softness that has made me up

Let the sun shine and push the clouds from my truly blessed life

 

DE – PRESS – I – ON

You won’t break me rather make me stronger then I was

I can only rise to the heights I dream by going through the depth’s I have plunged

In order to reach my peaks I need to navigate the valleys I find myself in

 

I’m the stray cat that takes what you feed me in my coldest days

Stop trying to write the script for the pills that are supposed to help

Your prescriptions when compared to my description have so much in common

Just drop the PRE and add the DE

 

I have finally scrolled through this part of my life’s terms and conditions

Ticked the box that says I agree depression has affected me

Like an addiction that hides the truth that wants to be spoken

Finally pressing accept has helped in my journey to submit

Remember that opening up has allowed you to drop the DE and PRESS-I-ON

So PRESS – I – ON

– Kent Bonertz

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